RPG rules warning signs

Found a list of RPG warning signs that should be clearly visible on each rulebook in a store. It is so beautiful I have to translate it right now.

  1. Warning! Made by dicks!
  2. Game provokes flamewars on the internet.
  3. Your GM will not allow you to use this extension. Never. We have warned you.
  4. Best mechanics of 1999!
  5. The authors wish you luck in finding players. We would come in    person, but we live too far away.
  6. The sheer number of corrections and additions to the rules to make them even remotely playable requires another rulebook to fit in.
  7. The dice pool is most conveniently thrown with a portable concrete mixer.
  8. The authors cannot into mathematics and probability.
  9. Game may cause irritation with people with an acute allergy to idiocy.
  10. On eye contact with the designer’s production, rinse with water and seek professional help immediately!
  11. If you are sufficiently tempted by the cover of this book, leave the hobby immediately.
  12. The authors wish you luck in the quest for their non-standard dice.
  13. Not suitable as a toy.
  14. A narrative game.
  15. Product may cause increased sleepiness.
  16. The setting in this edition contradicts the setting of the previous one.
  17. AWFUL TRANSLATION.
  18. Illustrations are anatomically impossible.
  19. Pretends to be realistic.
  20. Contains a heap of author’s most liked Mary Sues.
  21. Before you stands a partially playable set of author’s wet dream fantasies.
  22. Setting consists of 100% political masturbation.
  23. Contains a metaplot.
  24. Sales restrictions were imposed by an idiot. HEY, WE HAVE TITS!
  25. An unprovoked fall of the complete rule book set may cause a local black hole.
  26. Any fact from the setting is given through a prism of schizophrenia.
  27. The rulebook contains an actually helpful index of terms used.
  28. For having fun with the game, full frontal lobotomy is required.
  29. A science fiction setting that contradicts physics, chemistry and school history lessons.
  30. Art and text quality do not correlate with playability.
  31. Product is 100% compatible to “edition wars” feature.
  32. Creators mistake “overly complicated” for “realistic”.
  33. The indy postmodern rules concept has to be slightly edited to be actually playable.
  34. A pseudo-Japanese setting. Contains industrial amounts of schoolgirls, robots, and tentacles.
  35. The rules use a non-Euclidean distribution curve.
  36. This cyberpunk’s authors have no idea about emerging technologies in mobile communication, household devices, and computer networks.
  37. More than a half of the text describes useless author’s NPCs.
  38. Character creation requires a scientific calculator, a math major, and at least one full game session.
  39. There was no budjit to pay the edtior.
  40. Contains author’s graphomania.
  41. Playtesting has been performed by the author’s imaginary friends, a mouse, and an empty energy drink bottle.
  42. This is Another First <insert native language here> Role-playing Game!
  43. Events from narrative interludes are not compatible with rules.
  44. Rules contain holes.
  45. One hour of gameplay describes ten seconds of game time.
  46. Example may be completely different from actual gameplay.
  47. New and improved D&D!
  48. Siberian school of role-playing game systems!
  49. Role-players are pathologically single!
  50. Game requires internet connection.
  51. Game not suitable for a sober audience.
  52. Only by buying this game you can save the <insert native language here> role-playing industry!
  53. Fans absolutely must recommend the game as the only truly universal one.
  54. Considers moral and ethical specifics of a paladin’s world view.
  55. Rulebooks consists of 80% slang. Comprehension check!
  56. 80% better role-playing!
  57. D&D 5th edition. May cause scandals and flamewars.
  58. D&D 6th edition. May cause civil wars.
  59. V:tM gift edition. May cause financial ruin.
  60. Illustrated by a pose software.
  61. Illustrated by photoshopped jointed puppets.
  62. Rulebook is not suited to stop bullets more powerful than a pistol caliber.
  63. Equipment takes more than 50% of the contents.
  64. This book has been written while being high on drugs.
  65. The authors are not playing by these rules.
  66. Reading the rules may be not suited for people with high intracranial pressure and chronic heart diseases.
  67. Precise references to the rules are not included.
  68. Conflicts about the seventh edition of D&D will be played out with sticks and stones.
  69. Rules contain abused and maltreated Latin.
  70. For full understanding of the character sheet, a three weeks’ worth of introductory course is highly recommended.
  71. Completely incompatible to previous editions. Name has been kept for market share purposes.
  72. Full list of warnings is given in the XXVII extension book.
  73. We PlAy wiTH foNTs!
  74. Taking the setting seriously may cause fascism.
  75. Butthurt and hundreds of hatred by fans of the previous edition included.
  76. Yes, this is all the authors could do.
  77. Caution! Tables.
  78. The authors use the game as a propaganda method for fringe socio-political concepts.
  79. The budget was completely spent on the copyright license!
  80. We don’t recommend. No, really, we don’t.
  81. Has no index and no table of contents.
  82. Yet another medieval fantasy!
  83. Dumb author’s in-jokes in the rules text.
  84. Illustrated by Google Image Search.
  85. Don’t buy this book, we will soon publish a new one, which is EVEN WORSE!
  86. The book opens uncontrollably on the pages with the least safe for work graphics.
  87. Caution!™ The author® has a very approximate© understanding™ of copyright©!
  88. We have to defend the existence of our hobby, as well as the well-being of new players.
  89. Characters described by the author are not compatible to character creation rules.
  90. Printing the character sheet may use up all the color ink in your printer.
  91. Rules are not suited to describe a conflict between a vampire and a couple of small girls.
  92. Terms are used prior to their definition.
  93. Full definition is spread across three chapters on 250 pages.
  94. Abilities include “soup cooking” and “tying shoes”.
  95. Game not suitable for criticism!
  96. Character creation is more interesting than the game itself.
  97. Caution! Furries!
  98. Illustrated by the author.
  99. For intended game experience, a copy of the author is required.
  100. For intended game experience, a copy of D&D 2ed. rulebook is required.
  101. The game requires the players to be acquainted with small units tactics.
  102. Rules text contain references to terms that were redacted away in the initial proofreading phases.
  103. Conflict resolution rules are close to “I have hit you!”—“No, you didn’t!”—“Yes I did!”
  104. Contains a chapter “What is a role-playing game?”
  105. The book will fall apart on the second day.
  106. Author considers “anime” a drawing style.
  107. The “anime style graphic artist” is a freshman student from deviantart.
  108. Contains Japanese schoolgirls!
  109. Almost playable.
  110. Warning! Pretty boring stuff!
  111. Made to troll the RPG community.
  112. NO ELVES!
  113. This game has been considered morally questionable by /b/.
  114. Authors have consulted anonymous experts from /b/.
  115. Warning! FATAL!

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