Development Hell

Time stopped.
“Where am I?”
“You are dead. This is Hell.”
“I see no frying pans. And you look like–”


The (un)human shrugged.
“A human? Come on, that horns-and-tail thing is only for the show. Anyway, do you know that the most horrible things are done by humans? So why bother choosing some other appearance.”
“And–”
“What happens now? Well, let’s see. You are—ah, I see—young programming prodidgy, computer science, Silicon Valley—boring, really—ah! Mobile internet device development! Mobile browser software! Interrupted too early by a car crash. Classification: Sisyphus. Well.”
The creature seemed to think for a while, then produced out of literally nowhere a tablet.
“This is for you! The latest-generation tablet from your favorite fruit company.”
“That’s all? But–”
“Your task is to book a ticket to salvation. Look, our website is really fancy! You just have to put in your name… oh! Such a shame, the connection is somewhat unreliable here.”
The human was thinking.
“I don’t see the point, really.”
“No, just wait! See, a message from your supervisors! You have to reply to it ASAP. You know how to use these things, right? So, just switch apps… see, write some corporate bullshit—you’re used to it, right?—and switch again… You can also do it in the browser, these tabs are glorious!”
A sudden realization hit the human.
“Damn.”
“Such a shame! The online form is being reloaded… You’d ask why, but you are the lead developer and you know the answer, don’t you? Anyway, I have to go now, greet some fresh meat.”
“Hey! Don’t– That’s–”
“Bye. Enjoy the stay.”

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